Home Page Osama and Elvis Buy and Fly State of Alert Believe

Latest, Greatest State of Alert

I am on my toes as I go about my business as normal.
I am on the highest, latest state of alert.
In the grocery store, changing lanes on the highway,
at the movie, or at the Fox Run mall.
I search the landscape for dark skinned,
undernourished middle eastern looking men with mustaches.
I am ready to report to Homeland Security.

George Bush can count on me.
I am a patriot now.
I have quit making ironic or sarcastic remarks.
I have quit having fun.
I am finally politically correct.
If you aren't with the president
you're against him, and I'm with him 90%
just like the rest of America.

It's wonderful.
Everyone agrees on everything.
Like racial profiling.
As long as they aren't coming after portly,
middle aged Scotch-Irish women I don't care.
I believe our president really did
choke on a pretzel and fall off the couch.

I believe the 300 dollar tax rebate
can jump start the economy,
that a fetus should have
health care given by little tiny doctors,
in drilling in all the national parks
and increasing the military budget by 120 billion.
I have a flag in my yard
and a melody in my heart.
God Bless America!